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I've written and produced over 450 radio commercials for packaged goods, services and technology clients. Here are a few of the scripts for my favorites.
Ads: 1 2 3 4 | Direct Response/Promotions: 1 2
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Client: Lindsay Olives Project: :60 Radio Script: “Born Homely” Download MP3 Agency: Ketchum Advertising, San Francisco Air Date: 1980 MUSIC UP AND UNDER THROUGHOUT. MALE VOICEOVER: I was a homely looking olive when I was born. Not ugly . . . but homeliness is next to nothingness if you're trying to be a handsome Lindsay Olive. So I tried to change . . . to become one of the beautiful olives. I wore contact lenses ... I had my pimento styled by Mr. Joe . . . Nothing helped. So, I turned to olive surgery. I mean, I was desperate to become a quality Lindsay Olive! Now, some surgeons wouldn't touch an olive that looked like me, they said it was too risky. But you can always find someone who'll take out a wrinkle here, or inject an imitation of that great Lindsay flavor there. The Lindsay people gave me a second look, and I almost got in! . . . But one inspector saw a scar and I was through. I guess the Lindsay people were right after all: Beauty is only skin deep, but ugliness goes all the way to the pit . . . FEMALE VOICEOVER ANNOUNCER: An olive is just an olive, unless it's a Lindsay. MALE VOICEOVER ANNOUNCER: Well, maybe another olive company will give me a break. MUSIC UP AND OUT. Client: Farmers Direct Project :60 Radio Script, "Expensive" Download MP3 Agency: 360 Group, San Rafael, California Air Date: December, 1997 FEMALE VO:
Driving a car these days can be pretty expensive. . . SFX: (GAS PUMP NOISES: RUSH OF GASOLINE THROUGH PUMP; DING, DING, DING, DING, DING OF PUMP) FEMALE VO: You've got your brakes . . . SFX: (BRAKES BEING STOMPED ON, CAR SKIDS TO A HALT) FEMALE VO: You've got your tires . . . SFX: (PNEUMATIC LUG NUT GUN) FEMALE VO: You've got your toll roads . . . SFX: (COINS BEING THROWN INTO TOLL COLLECTING BASKET) MUSIC IN BACKGROUND UP AND UNDER THROUGHOUT. FEMALE VO: That's why you might be interested in a way you could save hundreds of dollars a year on your auto insurance. It's one simple call to Farmers Direct. You see, Farmers Direct believes that responsible drivers should pay less for auto insurance. So if you qualify, you could start saving right now . . . and continue saving year after year. Plus, you still get the great coverage that's made the Farmers Insurance Group one of the largest car insurers in the nation. So watch your mailbox for a Farmers Direct rate request package. Or grab your current policy and call toll-free 1-888-829-4377 to get a quick, no-obligation quote. That's 1-888-829-4377. Get your rates back where they belong with Farmers Direct. SFX: MUSIC OUT. Client: Bank of America Project: :60 Radio Script: "Fast Home Loans" Download MP3 Agency: Grey Advertising, San Francisco Air Date: May, 1988 FEMALE VOICEOVER: (SPOKEN EXTREMELY QUICKLY) BankofAmericaisnowintroducingitsnewadjustableratePriorityPlushomeloansasfast aswecan . . . MALE VOICEOVER: ("TRANSLATING" THE QUICKLY-SPOKEN WORDS MORE SLOWLY) She's saying that Bank of America is now introducing its new adjustable rate Priority Plus Home Loans as fast as we can . . . FEMALE VO: They'rereallyfast.Howfastisfast? . . . (FADES) MALE VO: She says they're really fast. How fast is fast? We'll approve your home loan in only 3 days . . . FEMALE VO: PriorityPlusisforqualifiedborrowers . . . (FADES) MALE VO: Priority Plus is for qualified borrowers looking to buy a home or to refinance . . . FEMALE VO: Wheyouputdown25% . . . (FADES) MALE VO: When you put down 25% of more, you'll close faster, and easier . . . FEMALE VO: You'llhavelesspaperwork . . . MALE: You'll have less paperwork . . . FEMALE VO: Lesshassle . . . MALE VO: Less hassle . . . FEMALE VO: Andmorepersonalizedservice . . . MALE VO: And more personalized service . . . FEMALE VO: What'smore,PriorityPlusloansfeature ourlowest. . . (FADES) MALE VO: What's more, Priority Plus loans feature our lowest adjustable rate ever. . . FEMALE VO: Somakeanappointmentnow . . . (FADES) MALE VO: So make an appointment now at any convenient Bank of America branch. . . FEMALE VO: Orcall1-800-344-1224 . . . (FADES) MALE VO: Or call 1-800-344-1224. That's 1-800-344-1224 . . . FEMALE VO: WithPriorityPlusHomeLoans . . . (FADES) MALE VO: With Priority Plus Home Loans, we'll work harder so you can rest easier . . . FEMALE VO: AnEqualHousingLender . . . MALE VO: An Equal Housing Lender.
Client: Netcom Project: :60 Radio Script: "Straight Talk" Campaign Agency: Pickett Communications, San Francisco Air Date: February, 1998 "ELECTRONIC" SFX/"INTERNET" MUSIC IN BACKGROUND THROUGHOUT. ANNOUNCER VOICEOVER: Doing business in the
nineties is changing the way we all do business . . . No more power
breakfasts . . . No more business lunches . . . No more meetings for
cappuccino lattes . . . Because doing business in the nineties is
doing business on the Internet. MNEMONIC SOUND/MUSIC OUT. Client: Gold Circle Entertainment, Inc. Project: :60 Radio Script - "CPR/History" Download MP3 Agency: Zeimer's Advertising Shoppe Air Date: February 1999 MUSIC UP AND UNDER THROUGHOUT. FEMALE ANNOUNCER
VOICEOVER; OPENING INSTRUMENTAL OF SEGUE TO 2nd
CHORUS OF "IT'S ALL COMING BACK TO ME": FEMALE ANNOUNCER
VO (INSTRUMENTAL FROM "LITTLE BLIND FISH"): SEGUE TO FINAL
CHORUS OF "LITTLE BLIND FISH": FEMALE ANNOUNCER
VO (INSTRUMENTAL FROM "MORRISON"): SEGUE TO "MORRISON",
2nd CHORUS: MUSIC OUT. Client: Hooked on Phonics.com Project: :60 Radio Script - "Fairy Tale" Download MP3 Agency: Zeimer's Advertising Shoppe Air Date: September 1999 (DAD READING TO DAUGHTER) LITTLE GIRL: OK, Daddy! DAD: Once upon a
time, there was the Letter A. LITTLE GIRL: Ohhh... that's so sad! DAD: Wait, it gets
better... LITTLE GIRL (LAUGHING): Daddy, you're silly! DAD: I know. Then, they did a leveraged buyout for letters C through L... LITTLE GIRL: Really?... DAD: And offered stock options for M through Z... LITTLE GIRL: What's that?... DAD: And they all lived happily ever after!... LITTLE GIRL: Yayyyy! SEGUE TO ANNOUNCER VOICEOVER
OVER DISTINCTIVE NEEDLEDROP MUSIC. So for all this - and much, much more - log onto Hooked on Phonics at the most memorable Web address anywhere: A-B-C-D-E-F-G dot com. (Musical logo played under VO). NEEDLEDROP MUSIC OUT. |
