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Birds do it. Bees do it. Even educated seniors do it. “It” is falling in love. But in the case of our parents, it’s maintaining the love in their relationships over many decades.
Enjoying Romantic Love in Older Age
Romance is still a big part of most peoples’ lives and it doesn’t stop at any age.
Whether with their original spouses or remarried, our parents are used to sharing their lives with someone for companionship and true love during their golden years.
In fact, recent studies of romance among older Americans may surprise you:
• A National Poll on Aging from the University of Michigan found that 72% of those
65–80 years old reported having a current romantic partner.
• An AARP survey of 800 older women in Southern California found that those under 55 and over 80 were most likely to say they were satisfied with the romance in their lives.
A Few Examples of Real-Life Romantic Love When Older
When my wife’s mother died, my father-in-law moved to Leisure World in Southern California. Because he was a spry 71, had a heartbeat, a condo, and a car, he was soon on the receiving end of the “casserole brigade” –– widows on the hunt for their next husband.
A year later, he met and quickly married a younger woman at Leisure World. They didn’t have much in common, so that relationship only lasted a few months.
Later that year, he met another woman at a weekly bridge game. They were a much better match and were married for 15 years until he passed.
A friend of my mother was married four times
in her 60s and 70s. Ironically, the fourth husband
was the funeral director who she had grown
to know after planning the final rights for
her first three husbands.
Aging in Place With 24/7 Care: Lonely, But Not Alone
After my father passed at the age of 89, my mother chose not to remarry. She’s now nearly 101 and frequently tells me, “My kids and grandkids give me plenty of hugs and kisses.”
My family has chosen to let our Mom “age in place” in the comfort of the Marin County condo she’s owned since 1971. Because of memory issues, she has 24/7 care.
My siblings and I visit her frequently, often bringing long-time family friends along. One neighbor of a good friend became her “boyfriend” for a while, meaning that they got together every few months for an extended lunch.
Unfortunately, after she forgot to tell her caretaker about a lunch date she’d made, she was out when he arrived with a lavish meal. That was the end of that friendship, but many people do find true love in old age.
How Do Single People Romantic Love in Older Age – at Home?
For any relationship of any length, at any age, couples meet in a variety of ways:
• Friends and family members introduce some couples to each other.
• Some meet each other at a friend’s house.
• Some try AARP’s “How About We” online dating service, eHarmony Senior Dating, niche sites sorted by religion and gender preference, Our Time, and Senior Friend / Finder. You can also engage a dating coach, service, or a good old-fashioned matchmaker.
• Community centers and senior centers where elderly people meet for daytime activities are excellent ways to meet new folks.
• Seniors meet other seniors at their library, grocery store, and hobby venue.
• Finally, many people find companionship, love in older age at senior living communities offering independent living, assisted living, and memory care. In fact, up to 90% of people who move into these communities are single.
So as you can see, romance can happen at any age. And it’s comforting to know that you’re never too old to find love… or to find love again.
About the Author:
Gil Zeimer is a Creative Director/Copywriter specializing in senior/boomer, healthcare, lifestyle, travel/leisure and technology brands since 1984. He lives in Tiburon, CA.