‘Twas The Night Before Networking

This poem and artwork were presented to BNI Embarcadero last week. It featured a collaboration with my colleague of FritzCartoons.com. I hope you enjoy it.

Illustrated by Fritz Wall. Written by Gil Zeimer.
Narrated by Steven Favreau. Apologies to Clement Clarke Moore.

‘Twas the night before networking when all through the bay,
BNI Embarcadero members were preparing for Schroeder’s Café.
The referral slips would be placed on the tables with care,
In the hopes that Giver’s Gain would soon be giving gain there.

Our members were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of crispy bacon danced in their heads.
Jerry was in his Pumpkin suit, Bart wore his Giants cap,
They’d just settled their minds for a long winter’s nap.

The next day on Front Street there arose such a clatter,
We sprang from our chairs to see what was the matter.
Away to the windows flew the members of our chapter,
We tore open the shutters. We thought it was a disaster.

The San Francisco sun was framed by the morning fog
Its mid-day luster looked like a simmering yuletide log.
When, what to our wondering eyes should appear,
But a hybrid sleigh and eight tiny Power Team reindeers.

With a little old driver, so lively and quicks,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nix.

More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!
“Now, lawyers! Now, technies! Now, B2Bers and Relocators!
On, Brokers! On, Beautifiers. On Financiers and Marketing Makeovers!
To the top of the porch! To the top of the wall!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!”

And then, in a twinkling, we saw on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each Power Team’s hoof.
As we drew in our heads, and were turning around,
Down the chimney St. Nix came with a bound.

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with bratwurst and soot.
A big bundle of referral slips he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler, just opening his pack.

St. Nix said, “Referrals for each good little girl and boy!
In hopes that closed business will bring you lots of joy.
So with a stroke of a pen on the referral slip
Referrals went to all and expecting no tip.

There was one for Dan Wheeler and both of the Kate’s.
Even one for the Real Estate Lawyer Bob Gates.
A few for Seph Paul because Santa’s shop is a mess.
One for Joui Turandot to teach Marty Wall how to dress.

There was a logo for Lauren Deane Evans and for Likoma, a site,
Plus a new project that Gil Zeimer could definitely write.
St. Nix knew a company whose phones were a wreck,
So he referred them to Bart Saling of B2B Tech.

A new house got Adam Barnum some dough,
It needed upscale décor from Steven Favreau,
They’ll also consult with architects Larson-Shores,
And fund it through Kevin Casey of Guarantee Mortgagors.

Tom Redmond could list it then sell the house, too.
There are so many jobs that our members can do.

But if there’s a workplace problem with some hanky panky,
Anderies & Gomes are who you should you spanky.
And if St. Nix had a problem with a pill called Cialis,
He could put in a call to Christopher Morales.

Insurance reps are always part of the mix.
So that got three more referrals from old St. Nix.
One was for Jerry Becerra, or that’s what I’m toldt,
With others to Carlos Ramirez and Richard Reinholdt.

With a long day of schlepping, St. Nix’s back was a burn,
So he referred himself to Dr. Jamie Stern,
Writing referrals gave him carpal tunnel syndrome,
So he made an appointment with Adam Wiscombe.

He gave referrals to Amy Harcourt, Jessma Evans, and Avakian, JC,
Plus Joe Markert, Kenji Oshima, and Mike Heylin, the Mac and PC.
He called out Mischa Purcell, Adrienne Dale, and Phil Siegel,
As well as Ray Simon, Daniel Kim and Brittany Pettengill.

There was Dan Joraanstad, Dan Chomko, and Margaret Shebalin,
Kathy Olberts, Wendy Parker, Jerry Bayer and Wayne Allen Cameron.
Isabella Schwarzinger, Seth Tajbakhsh, Reno Fernandez and Linda Gordon,
Plus Julia Ten Eyck, Sergio Rosales, John Kalin, and Rob Appleton.

If some of St. Nix’s families needed banking, trusts or immigration,
He mentioned Ron Micuch, Heather Stoneman and Angela Warren.
And let’s not forget Kay Heatherly, Shianne Lombard and Cathy Cohn,
Because without all of them, St. Nix would never leave home.

And when his long day was done, St. Nix’s teeth needed preening,
That got Dr. Michael Hack a slip for teeth cleaning.
And for a new member who never had dance cards, Mr. Joe Blow,
Instead of referrals, he got a big heaping lump of coal.

Finally, St. Nix sprang to his hybrid sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But we heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,
“Happy Christmas to all at BNI Embarcadero, and to all a good-night!”

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